i think my tv is drunk
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
