I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
