He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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