you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
