Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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