Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
