Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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