I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
