I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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