You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
