You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
