Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
