so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
