"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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