i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Dick very happy bro
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
