big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
