This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
