I hate your face
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
