I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
