'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
