the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
