I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
