not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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