I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
