we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
