In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
