my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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