i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
