you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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