that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
