so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
