I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
