I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
you had me at cake vodka
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
