no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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