i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
