1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
