I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
