talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
