My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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