we're blogging at a bar
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
