A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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