the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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