Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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