so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
