I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
