The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
