All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
