Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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