You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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