You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
