I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
