I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
