Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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