make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
