I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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