you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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