all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
