I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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