Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
